This last Saturday I had the privilege of celebrating that laugh with hundreds of others at a celebration service of Lynne's life. 6 days prior Lynne had slipped from this world to meet her Creator after a courageous battle with cancer. It was last year around labor day that Lynne and her family received the news that Lynne had Stage 4 breast cancer. At that time no one would have guessed that she would be given almost an entire year to be loved on by friends and family as she fought.
These days it is not uncommon for cancer to touch all of our lives in some way, whether it be through a loved one fighting the battle or even ourselves. It can be scary, ugly, unrelenting, and utterly debilitating as it ravages through a person's body. However, I have seen this disease which is meant to harm be used by God for good many times before and on Saturday I was reminded once again how great our God is to do this through Lynne and her own fight.
As people poured into the church, we were greeted by multiple posters of Lynne's grinning face. There were pictures from childhood through the awkward junior high years and through high school, college and adult life. As I looked at the progression I could see the smile that God gave her as a sweet baby grow with her as the years passed through the pictures. I was reminded of the laugh that gave volume to that grin, the laugh that I believe gave her the strength to get by everyday.
The service began with worship through music. It was led by the same team that came to Marcia and Jim's house, (where Lynne and her daughter Perrin lived), every Sunday at 3pm. They came rain or shine to bring church to Lynne since she couldn't make it to church in her condition. It was through there introduction to the service that I began to feel my heart smile as I thought about how when the Body of Christ, the people of the Church...when they get it right, there is nothing like it...it's the most powerful example of love in this world.
From the moment the music began I knew that this funeral would not be like some other funerals I've attended, in fact, I can't even use the word funeral because of the Spirit of Joy that filled the building. Through the words of an uncle and then of Jim, Lynne's father, and through a video message from one of Lynne's best friends, it was clear to me that God had plans to bless all of us there in the midst of celebrating the life of Lynne.
As we sat there soaking in the loving words and being reminded of Lynne's laughter I felt my heart fill up. I realized that I was witnessing the Church, the whole community of believers, do death well. Last, Frank Pastore, came up and gave some closing words...words that were simple, humble, loving and thought-provoking. He told us that had he come to a funeral like this during his first 27 years of life he would leave thinking, "Oh those poor people, they created all these beliefs just to help themselves deal with the situation and cope..." But, after thinking that thought, that so many of us have thought before...even if we grew up in a church-going or religious family...he said that thought would always be followed by a question, a question that would haunt him..."But what if it's true?"
What if it's true? What if there really is a God who created this world and created you and created me with a plan and a purpose? What if this God sent His son Jesus to earth to live, and teach and love, and then to die and take our place...to die for us so that we could spend eternity in Heaven with Him? What if it is true when Jesus said, I am going to prepare a place for you? What if it is true when He says I am The Way, The Truth, and The Life, no one comes to the Father except through me?
I would be lying if I said that I never asked these questions myself. Growing up in the Catholic Church I learned many things about my Creator. However, it wasn't until my adult years that I understood what it was really like to have a living relationship with Him...one where I could cry out to Him and know that He heard me...one where I could sing my praises to Him and know he was smiling. Don't get me wrong, I am SO thankful for my Catholic upbringing...God has used it in so many ways to grow and mature my faith. I am no longer a practicing Catholic, I attend a Protestant church these days, but I will forever be grateful for the foundation my parents laid for me by making church a priority as a young child. But, back to the questions...like I said, it wasn't until my adult years that I really began to believe that those things really could be true.
Sitting in that service on Saturday reminded me not only of the beauty of Lynne's life but also of my own journey and how God uses pain and suffering and the things we don't understand, like death, to draw His people near to Him. As Pastore finished he left everyone with that question...sure, this all could be a great, big coping mechanism, but what if it's not...what if it's true?
I don't know where you find yourself today in the whole God-believing, Jesus-loving picture. Unfortunately, there are many people who call themselves Christians who have made choices that hurt people. Those hurts have turned people away from anything that remotely resembles Christianity. For that, I am so sorry...so sorry, that my heart aches in this very moment as I type. It also angers me...it angers me in the way you get angry when you see a child or small animal neglected...the anger that stems from injustice...because that's really what has happened. Unfortunately, Christianity has been branded as religion that is exclusive and only accepts certain kinds of people.
This could not be further from the truth. If I were brave enough to write a list of the junk in my life and the bad choices I have made since the moment I could make bad choices you would see that I am not be fit for any group of people. You may not believe it, but it's true. I was a big ol' mess...trust me. But then something happened in my life. I was at rock bottom. The place where you don't even know where up is because the darkness has closed in on every side. Then through a good friend, my best friend, I was shown the love of Jesus and slowly, the darkness began to dissipate. I began to heal by leaning on the love and the promises I found in the Bible and through prayer. My life changed. I became a new person in many ways...so many ways that some people were shocked and even genuinely weirded out by my new lifestyle.
The truth was that once I learned that there was a God that loved me no matter what I did, and that nothing could change the love he had for me, even my very worst, deepest, darkest, really ugly secrets, I finally felt like I could live. It was through this process that I was able to feel conviction for my wrong doings and ask for forgiveness or extend forgiveness as the circumstances of my past and present came to mind. This process led me to experience a freedom I had never felt before. It was a freedom that ushered in a new joy and love for life.
On Saturday, celebrating Lynne, I was reminded of all of this. I was reminded that one day, I asked myself, "What if it is true?" and then started to truly live for the very first time. That question was the beginning of the last 12 years of my life. Things would be so different and so unsettled had I not truly dug down deep into what that question really implied. I am better for it. I live for it everyday...unashamedly.
I was also reminded that it was her belief, her faith, that gave Lynne the courage to fight and the courage to face death. It was this belief and hope that gave Marcia, Lynne's mother, the supernatural ability to care for Lynne. It was this belief and this hope that gave all the people attending the service that day a deep joy that replaced any despair, knowing Lynne was alive...more alive than she had ever been before...completely restored, completely healed, completely whole in the company of Jesus.
I do miss Lynne's laugh. We didn't get to hear it very much in the last year but if what I believe to be true, really is true, then I know she is laughing now. I also know that one day I will get to hear it again. That thought gives me hope. This hope is what gets me through my worst days on this earth. It's the hope that reminds me this earth is not my home. It's the hope that reminds me I am not forgotten. It's the hope that fills me when there is nothing I can do to control the circumstances around me. Without this hope I would not be living life with joy and that would be awful.
If you read this blog today and you are toying with the question, "What if it's true?" I challenge you to let it sit. Let it permeate your thoughts. Give God the chance to show you. He showed me and my life will never be same...and I couldn't be more grateful.
However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him—
1Corinthians 2:9
Thank you Lynne for loving Jesus with your whole heart. You touched people through your life and even through your death. I'm so glad you are laughing again.
