The Glad Game

I love the movie Pollyanna.  I think it is one of those really good movies that you can let your kids watch and not worry one bit about it.  I know that the cheese factor is high but I'm a sucker for cheese.  The more cheese the better if you ask me.  And, these days, since I can't eat cheese due to the Little Man's tummy the movie kind of cheese seems to curb my craving.

One of the reasons I love this movie so much is because Pollyanna and I seem to have a similar approach to life.  Rather than wallowing in circumstances Pollyanna chooses to, "play the glad game," and find something to be glad about.

This week was one where I had to make myself choose to be a Pollyanna.  I just had to find something to be glad about.  It was a week I will never forget but my hope is that rather than remember the trauma I will remember the God encounter and be glad.

On Wednesday, around 12:50pm in a Target parking lot, with my two sweet babies a man approached me with a gun while I was buckling The Bug in her seat.  He pointed it at me and told me to give him my ring.  I gave him my silver ring first.  He didn't like that one.  He asked if I had a purse.  I lied.  I threw my wedding ring at him and he ran and got in a get away car.

It was scary.  I called 911 and practically parked in Target.  I was right in the front.  I wanted to make a huge scene in case he wasn't happy with what he found and came back.  The police came.  I gave a report.  They dusted my car for finger prints. 

As I pulled out of the parking lot after everything was over, I cried out to God.  I was mad.  Who thinks they have the right to pull a gun out anyway near my children.  It was an injustice and that fires up my soul.  I cried out to God and first prayed for justice.  I want the man to know what he did was wrong.  Second, I asked God to draw near this young man.  I want to see his face again...in heaven one day.  I played through in my mind what a person must have gone through as a child, a teenager,  and young adult to do what he did.  I told my mom, "You shouldn't feel sorry for me.  He's the one you should feel sorry for."

I came home and took a shower...a long one.  I replayed the horrific experience moment by moment in my head.  I cried a lot.  It was the sobbing cry that comes from that deep gut-wrenching place...the one you save for when you are by yourself and in the most desperate of places. 

I told God that I didn't want to live in fear.  I want to be able to take my kids places and not think everyone is going to attack us.  I begged him to show me where His angels were during the whole experience.  Jesus where were you?

Now for those of you that don't share my faith, this next part may sound crazy.  Even if you do share my faith you may still think I'm crazy.  That's fine.  You can call me crazy and I don't take any offense.

I closed my eyes and saw a picture of my car and I saw angels.  Well, if I'm honest I saw lots of wings that were kind of see-through and iridescent and gold all at the same time.  They were covering my children.  They were all around my car.  I saw Jesus standing right behind me...really big...much bigger than me and the car.

It was this moment in the shower that I knew I had something to be glad about.  I went through the rest of the day trying really hard to focus on the miracle that took place rather than the horrendous experience...No one was harmed, my kids were okay and all he took were my rings. 

As if this wasn't enough for one week, the next day was the day that The Fly had his last procedure to determine if there was any cancer in his bladder.  A while ago some test results came back that led us through a slew of tests and procedures to rule out cancer.  The poor guy had to go through the worst one this last Thursday.  That morning when I got out of bed I knew I had two choices.  Wallow or be glad.  I decided to choose glad.  I began to focus again on the miracles every time an image of the day before would enter my head...which let me tell you was often.  And again, I prayed.  I prayed for peace for my husband and I prayed that no matter the outcome we would be able to find something to be glad about.

He called me around lunch time and gave me the great news.  No cancer!  The procedure was torture but he was glad...no cancer.  


Later that day I spoke to dear friend who prayed for me and also helped me see the miracles in the circumstances that surrounded me. I realized that I had so much to be glad about after I got off the phone with her...from the test results to God's protection over my babies and me. 

With all this said, I'm not naive.  I know that Pollyanna gets a bad wrap sometimes.  I know the reality of what happened to me more than anyone.  I see the gun in fleeting thoughts all day long.  I see this young man's face and hear his voice constantly through my stream of consciousness.  I don't like it.  When I go outside I am leery of men.  I don't like that.  I keep saying I want to be normal again.  (Not that I was very normal before...but you know what I mean.)

I know that getting past this ordeal will take time but in that time I am choosing glad. 

We took the kids to Disneyland last night to celebrate the miracles of our week.  We chose glad.  And every time The Fly put his hand on the small of my back I knew he was choosing glad too.  He was glad we were safe.  He was glad there was no cancer.  We were glad that we got to ride the Ariel ride we our Bug and Little Man.  We were glad we got to share corn dogs.  We were glad as we held hands on the ride home and the Little Man slept as the Bug serenaded us with the ABC song.

Bad  things happen.  There are lots of people out there that are hurting enough to do desperate and mean things.  Like I told my mom, don't feel sorry for us.  We are the blessed ones.  We were protected by the creator of the universe.  Instead, pray for the guy if you are the praying type.  I'm praying.  Who knows what will happen?  What was meant to harm can always be used for good because my God is greater.

Genesis 50:20
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."