Tuesday, September 4, 2012

In the Morning

"Oh what a beautiful morning.  Oh what a beautiful day.  I  have a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way." -- Oklahoma!

Nothing like a little musical theater throw-back and good sunrise picture to inspire your day.

Fly took this picture of the sunrise this morning.  It was breath-taking. 
  

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
    in the morning I lay my requests before you
    and wait expectantly.


Psalm 5:3




 Why?  Why is it so hard sometimes to open this?  Why does the extra long to do list suddenly appear in my mind as I reach to pick up the life-giving words?  Why does my phone end up right in front of me and robotically I tap the screen to lead me to time-wasting and minute-filling?  The news feed entertains me and even encourages me at times but it does not feed my soul.

I see the Fly carry his up the stairs and my eyes fall back upon my own.   I put the phone down with all the self-control I can muster.  It really is emabarrassing, the hold that little piece of technology has on me.

I open up the book that will curb my hunger and sustain me for the day.

Psalm 5.  I've been reading one a day.  Sitting in it and soaking it in as the words effervesce, issue forth bubbles, of Life.

I come upon these rich words:

Verse 7, "But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy;"

They strike a deep chord.

I read the New King James version...not because I think it's the best but because it sounds the most like Shakespeare.  Laugh, roll your eyes, or try it yourself.

The words in verse 7 hang on.  I feel my heart clinging to them.

The truth is I NEED a multitude of mercy.  It is the only way I can survive.

I want to be a good person, a good wife, a good mom.  Good.  Good.  Good.  I try so hard to be good.  And everyday, EVERYDAY, I fail myself and those I love.  And, the worst part of it all is that I beat myself for it.  I hang my head low and walk in the guilt and the shame more often than I stand in the grace and the multitude of mercy.

I cry.  Okay, so I cry often.  But this morning I cry because I know better.  I know the grace.  I know the mercy that my God offers me.  I know it is worse to not receive it.  I know it is in vain that I ignore His gentle nudges.

Forgive me.  Forgive me for being swept away in my self.  I carry the burden of "not-good-enough" because I constantly try to do it all...all by myself.  

It's kind of like idolatry.  Ouch.  But it is.  If I put all my faith in myself then what do I need Him for?

For His multitude of mercy.  I will never be good enough.  And, I'm so thankful I don't have to be.





If you have time to read more today follow this link to more inspiration...

3 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean....there are days when I work from sunrise til sunset, telling myself that if I do it all, 'they' (the world) won't look at me with judgment and criticism for my lackluster life and my inability to save the world.

    Wowsers, we put way too much upon ourselves.

    It is by His grace that we are whole. It is through Him that we find meaning and contentment.

    Amen, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jaci,

      Your comments are also so thoughtful and encouraging. I pray for you and sweet family as the Spirit leads. Love you all so much. Thank you for reading and thank you for your words.

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  2. Love you, my dear friend! Thank you for your transparency. You are a blessing to me!

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